Anal Dilation

Learn About Anal Stretching
From the Experts at Bespoke Surgical

What is anal stretching?

Anal and distal rectal dilation is the act of opening, widening, or stretching the anus with tools called anal dilators. It is often done after surgical procedures on the anus to restore the area to its normal state. Anal stretching can make passing stool and/or sexual activity more comfortable and is imperative to both functionality, along with the aesthetics desired.

Anal Stretching for Pleasure and Comfort

Understanding anal anatomy and muscular contractility is a must in sexual education, all in the hopes of long lasting and powerful experiences. Unfortunately, the knowledge of both how to relax your anus and how to correctly play have been lacking in most educational curriculums and even in the majority of physicians’ offices. As it pertains to anything in anal play, one must think of the sphincter as having two major functions:

  • contractility
  • relaxation


anal dilation relaxation

Most people have a difficult time with complete relaxation, during both defecation and intercourse. The key component to better bottoming is practice, practice, and more practice! This stems from creating the neural mechanism from the brain to the ass to improve that relaxation when called upon. One is sorely (no pun intended) mistaken to think one can just shove a penis, toy, butt plug, or other object into the anus and have it be pleasurable.

It takes time and patience and in order to have a fruitful encounter, while minimizing injury, dilation is key — both before you ever start engaging anally and also in between the times of when you do engage. Like any other muscle, your sphincter needs constant exercise and if it doesn’t experience that relaxation control, it will go back to being too tight, accompanied with painful experiences or even worse — anal fissures, hemorrhoids, and the like. An anal dilation trainer kit is the best recommendation and usually comes with 3-4 different sizes, which increase in both length and girth.

Anal Dilation at Bespoke Surgical

rectal dilation expertise

Dr. Goldstein recommends the following process for starting anal stretching:

  • Choose a convenient time and place, such as before or during a shower.
  • Use a small toy and a significant amount of water or toy-approved lubrication.
  • Over the course of 3-5 minutes, insert the toy about 4-5cm into the anus, right beyond where the muscle lies.
  • It will take 4-6 times to insert because those muscles need time to relax.
  • If met with resistance, pull the toy out, re-lubricate, and do it again.
  • Even if you think you can take more, still start with the smallest toy and use consistently for a week or two before graduating to the next size up and then repeat the same process over the subsequent weeks.


One may feel discomfort during the rectal dilation process — this is completely normal — but cease use if you witness any pain. It takes time and the key is more mental control of how one can contract or relax and learn to control like any other muscle we have. If one has ever topped someone and they can completely open their anus, it’s not due to looseness, but rather more about anal control. If any issues arise during this process, please make an appointment to see Dr. Goldstein so that he can help get you on the right path. There may be other factors at play, which are limiting one’s ability to successfully bottom.

For more information, read about anal botox and how it may help move the dilation process along.

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Dr. Evan Goldstein, D.O.

Dr. Evan Goldstein, D.O.

Dr. Evan Goldstein is the founder and President of Bespoke Surgical, a surgical practice for modern males based in New York and Los Angeles. He received his medical doctorate from the University of Medicine and Dentistry School of Osteopathic Medicine in 2002. Receiving the highest osteopathic education was pivotal in shaping his holistic whole-life approach towards his practice of private surgical care.

Learn More about DR. EVAN GOLDSTEIN, D.O.