Education

Anal Fisting for Beginners: A Fisting Guide

What Is Anal Fisting?

Anal fisting, not to be confused with vaginal fisting, is when one person inserts their entire hand into the anus of another. Though called “fisting,” the hand isn’t always positioned into a fist, although this can be achieved gradually. What’s commonly referred to as fisting can actually be an extension of the fingers into the anus up to or almost to the wrist. Think of the positioning as your four fingers leaning over to meet the pad of your thumb, creating a kind of cone shape or what most people call a ‘duck bill’.

What’s So Great About Fisting?

While anal fisting is commonly seen in pornography, it’s actually something everyday people do as well — and not just gay men. People of all identities and orientations can and do engage in and enjoy fisting.

Pleasure

Though anal fisting isn’t for everyone, those who enjoy it say that it’s a pleasurable sensation, mainly derived from the feeling of “fullness” it provides. The act of fisting can also be effective in targeting certain pleasure zones, such as the G-spot or prostate. Some even say that the sensations they experience are far more intense than less extreme anal play. This can come from the plethora of nerve endings, as well as the psychological pleasure of knowing and experiencing a closeness to your partner that most people never experience.

Can You Orgasm?

The short answer is: Yes. As with any sexual act, however, people will respond differently. Not everyone will orgasm from fisting, and for those who do, it can happen in different ways. Some only need anal stimulation while others may require or prefer pressure applied to other pleasure zones.

Fantasy

For those looking to add something exciting to their sexual repertoire, anal fisting can be fulfilling emotionally and mentally in addition to physically. Some may want to combine it with other sexual fantasies, such as BDSM or double penetration, for a more unique sexual experience.

How Does It Feel?

It’s understandable for those considering being on either side of an anal fisting experience to have questions or even hesitations, so let’s walk through this.

Fistee

Regarding sensation, most individuals describe a feeling of fullness, stretching that results in a relaxing release, and deep intimacy. As with all sexual encounters, the more you can relax and feel comfortable, the easier and better the experience will be.

Fister

On the other hand, those on “top” enjoy the feeling of pleasuring their partner. It can create a feeling of power, confidence, and intimacy that many enjoy. Some people say there’s a unique softness and warmth inside the anal canal and rectum that provides indirect pleasure and satisfaction to the top.

How to Anal Fist Step-by-Step

Preparation

Training

When it comes to fisting for beginners, it can seem intimidating, so here’s your anal fisting guide. For the best experience, it’s recommended that you take things slowly. Anal fisting should not be your initial foray into the world of anal play. Instead, increase your comfort by trying activities out in stages.

First, start by using an anal training kit. We typically tell our clients that only the first 3-4 sizes are required for everyday anal sex. However, the largest toy in the set is perfect for fisting training. The reason for this is its shape. Most anal toys have a neck, which helps keep the toy inside for extended periods of time. This actually isn’t ideal because your sphincter then swells around this smaller neck so when you go to remove it, you run the risk of causing an anal fissure.

What’s nice about this set is that the circumference is the same all the way down to the base. Believe it or not, the first 4-6cm is the hardest part about both bottoming and fisting — the takeoff and the landing. Once you make it past this area and into the rectum, it’s basically an open space. That’s why understanding your anatomy is so important. Anal sex and fisting are both compromised by the skin and muscle not stretching adequately.

When you use dildos and training kits, you’re introducing stretching in a very controlled way, where you’re minimizing the chance of tearing or injury. The point of training is to get the skin and muscle to open up at this wider capacity for longer periods. Most people will leave the largest toy inside for 4-5 minutes, if not longer. This keeps your sphincters gaping, training the skin and muscle to truly accommodate larger toys, larger penises, and, of course, fists.

As you grow more comfortable, you can move on to even larger toys and anal sex with your partner(s) for extended periods. Once you feel at ease with these first two phases, then you can slowly try fisting with a partner. But before you do, it’s important to understand your anatomy. Everyone’s internal mapping is slightly different; however, we all have what we call the ‘deeper hole’, which is about 18-20cm inside and can thus only be reached by above-average penises, larger toys, and fists.

Navigating with larger toys and fisting can be challenging because of this ‘deeper hole’. The colon and rectum take a sharp angle and understanding where that happens is paramount to successful fisting. Try moving the toy front and back, as well as changing the positioning of your pelvis (this is where a sex wedge can really help) until you’re no longer hitting resistance (which is the sidewall of your rectum). This takes time, practice, and lots of communication.

Furthermore, anal botox can also prove helpful for anal fisting preparation. When administered properly, it can assist with the relaxation of the anus. It can not only help if people are limited, but also if they are hitting a wall–literally–by opening up the skin and the muscle.

Another option is to see a pelvic floor therapist, who can provide in-office or at-home physical therapy techniques that are customized for how you want to engage (in this case, fisting). Understanding your goals, they can work with you to make sure you’re going through all the necessary steps to get you to where you want to be.

Douching

While anal douching is not a requirement for fisting, it can help with confidence and easier cleanup. Since fisting can reach high into the anal canal, standard douching likely won’t do enough cleansing. While we do not recommend larger douches and shower hoses for any kind of anal play, as they can cause damage to sensitive areas, most people still prefer using them to prepare for fisting and playing with larger toys. Our recommendation is to avoid them, but if you must, try using less volume initially and decreased water pressure, and then use Future Method douching products as a ‘last step’ after. The Future Method solution has ingredients that are known to hydrate and soothe delicate tissue.

Some fisting experiences may reach all the way to the sigmoid colon where feces is stored. Because of this, it can be helpful to take medications such as laxatives to flush out your system or a product like Imodium to slow down motility. That said, it’s important to know that chronic use of these methods can create dependency, potentially leading to long-term gastrointestinal issues.

Aesthetics

While not required, those engaging in anal fisting may want to opt for laser hair removal of the anal area. Aesthetically, it can boost one’s confidence and comfort level. On a more practical note, removal of hair prior to fisting can prevent painful pulling or tugging if the fistee has a lot of hair (or longer hair) in the area.

Penetration

Lubrication

Lube is an absolute must when it comes to fisting to avoid injuries like anal tears or fissures. While silicone or water-based lubes can be used for fisting, we recommend opting for lubes that are specifically designed for more extreme play. J-Lube is highly recommended as being especially ideal for anal fisting, as it is longer lasting and provides unmatched thickness and slickness. That said, do keep in mind which lubes are compatible with toys (and condoms if you’re engaging in anal sex afterward). Another good trick is investing in a lube shooter. These can take all the effort out of ensuring that you’re properly lubricated throughout the anal canal and rectum, which is another key component of reducing the risk of injury.

Gloves

In addition to lube, gloves are a great option that can keep both parties safe. They protect the bottom partner from jagged nails and potential STIs and protect the top partner from feces and STIs as well. The gloves you use should always be a new or sterilized pair. Whether or not you forego the use of gloves, the fister’s hands and fingernails should be properly cleaned and groomed to create a more hygienic experience that will also diminish the potential for injury (like anal fissures).

Getting Down to Business

There are six things both partners should keep in mind before penetration.

Foreplay: This is the best way to get comfortable and relaxed with your partner. This can involve rimming, toys, and even anal sex as a way to help prepare the anus for fisting. In this way, you’re essentially gradually dilating the rectum.

Communication: During this process, it is essential to actively communicate with one another to ensure both partners are comfortable. Consider using a safe word or clear cues to differentiate pain and pleasure. Furthermore, don’t forget to take breaks. This is an intense sexual experience, especially at first, and it is okay to pause.

Breathing: Deep, yoga-style breathing is a natural trick that can do wonders to help relax the sphincters. Taking strong inhales and exhales at key moments (insertion, movement, and withdrawal) can help alleviate tension and improve relaxation.

Cleanup: Bear in mind that you should expect some clean-up afterward. Put a towel down or use sheets you’re okay with getting dirty.

Expectations: Don’t compare your experience to the porn you have seen. Go into the experience with realistic expectations and remember that it may take a few tries before you and your partner get the hang of things and are comfortable enough to experience full pleasure.

Sobriety: Although it may be tempting to relax through the use of substances, being sober during fisting is the safest option. You want to be fully aware of any pain or discomfort that may occur and be able to clearly communicate with your partner. Specifically, regarding commonly used poppers, these should only be used to enhance the experience. You should be able to be comfortably fisted without poppers prior to including them. They should not be used as a means of masking pain to achieve something you normally couldn’t without them, as this can lead to serious injury.

Now when it comes to how to anal fist, don’t try to enter with a full fist. Start out with a couple of fingers and continue adding fingers until you’re ready for your entire hand in either a cone shape or a flat position. Ease in gently and gradually continue with insertion as it is comfortable for the bottom partner. Once fully inside the anal canal, the top partner can begin thrusting for a more intense experience.

After Care

Clean yourselves, your toys, and your sheets or towels with soap and warm water to get rid of any bodily fluids or fecal matter that may remain. After that, reconnect with yourself and your partner to process the experience and reflect on any changes you’d like to make the next time. Once you’ve had a chance to regroup, butt plugs are useful for rehabilitation purposes to maintain the desired amount of anal tightness. Doing squats can also be helpful to build strong muscles.

Are There Risks Involved?

As with many other sexual activities, there are risks involved in anal fisting. They can, however, be avoided if the proper precautions and preparations are taken.

Injury

If not done carefully and with the proper training, anal fisting can result in a variety of injuries with lasting impacts. These can range from bleeding to tearing and hemorrhoids. All of these ailments can negatively impact not only one’s sexual experiences, but also the general quality of one’s life. Taking proper precautions to avoid these serious injuries is essential.

Fecal Matter

Because of the body’s anatomy, you are more likely to come into contact with fecal matter during fisting than you would with other things that are anally inserted like toys, individual fingers, dildos, or penises. Essentially, the anus has three different sphincters: two at the opening of the canal and one at the end called the distal sphincter. It separates the anal canal from the upper rectum and lower anal colon, which is where fecal matter is stored. Fisting is more likely to reach to this third sphincter. Douching as described above will lessen the likelihood of coming into contact with fecal matter.

Pain

Anal fisting should not be painful. If it is, stop and revisit the preparation steps. Training your anus as discussed earlier will reduce any pain. Note that the use of poppers, desensitizing lubes, and/or alcohol/drugs can give a false sense of acceptance and are not recommended for first-timers.

Looseness

If anal fisting is something you partake in on a regular basis, there is the possibility that your muscles will weaken over time. That said, there are strategies to prevent this, as well as to recover after looseness has occurred. These include services such as anal elasticity, anal botox, anal manometry, and the Emsella chair.

STIs

Although there is no genital-to-genital contact involved in anal fisting, it is still possible to contract or pass an STI. For the bottom partner, this can occur if an infected bodily fluid is on the hand entering the anus. On the flip side, the top partner can face a risk if the hand entering the anus has a cut or comes into contact with its owner’s genitals after fisting someone infected with an STI. As previously noted, using gloves is a good idea to reduce the transmission of STIs.

Anal fisting can be a pleasurable experience between consenting partners that leads to increased physical and emotional intimacy. If you do decide to try it out, be sure to follow the above anal fisting tips to prepare both parties for the best experience possible. To learn more about preparation, aftercare, or other aspects, contact the trusted experts at Bespoke Surgical.

About Dr. Evan Goldstein

Dr. Evan Goldstein is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical. Dr. Goldstein has extensive experience educating and shedding light on health care issues relating to the gay community, and has been published in several national publications including The Advocate, OUT Magazine, Vice, Refinery 29, NY Mag and more.