Health

Tales from the Tail — Don’t Get Cocky with that Cock Ring

 

Ring, ring.

Let me first start by saying: I’m the kind of person who tries to find humor in otherwise serious situations (I guess that’s how I cope with things). As I recounted my story with Dr. Goldstein, I couldn’t help but laugh at myself for getting *stuck* in a *tight* situation. However, what it leads to (and why it happened) is nothing to laugh at. Let’s start from the top.

Thursday

I wanted to party. It’s Thursday evening and within two minutes on Grindr, I spotted a nineteen year old who was down to play. When he arrived, we found it very convenient that both of our drug of choice was meth. Within five minutes we were not only high as a kite, but fucking like rabbits. Now, I always wear a thick cock ring — it does an incredible job to not only help engorge my cock to enhance sensation, but also provides me with a prolonged erection. The latter is especially key since it’s hard to keep up with a nineteen year old twink when you are 51 years of age, like me. He simply couldn’t get enough — he wanted me inside him all-fucking-night. I obliged, as best as I could, but at some point, he was finally ready to take a break. We were still up early Friday morning (thanks to the meth), at which point he asked me for something to bring him down and help him get some sleep. I gave him some Remeron and, believe me, he slept like a baby for hours on end. I wasn’t as inclined to sleep, so I stayed up, which leads us to Friday…

Friday

While my overnight guest was still sound asleep, my cock and its ring wanted more. I have a nearby fuck buddy, who is always down to party, so I reached out and, unsurprisingly, he was happy to came over (and, yes, drugs were involved again). He wanted me to fuck him, which was somewhat unusual for our relationship, but my cock wasn’t going to say “no”! During our second session, I started to see that my cock and balls were way swollen, like fucking elephant legs. Being high as I kite, I started to freak out. We immediately stopped our session because I realized I hadn’t taken the ring off since I placed it on Thursday evening! My initial attempts for removal were unsuccessful. We used ice, oils — you name it — but this thick cock ring was not going anywhere. The more we fucked with it, the more fucked I became (and not in the good way). I was bugging out.

Finally, we both decided I needed help (in more ways than one, but more on that later) and with me all strung out, we called an ambulance. Oh man, here we go, I thought. I was taken to a hospital in Brooklyn. I was so embarrassed, but I was honest and told them I was on meth and they needed to give me something to sedate me while they cut the ring off. Because of my chronic meth use, I was told the drug of choice for anesthesia was ketamine. Lovely. Fast forward — I thought I was out cold, but abruptly woke up to find 15 fireman hovering over me, one of them with the “jaws of life” coming at my cock. Ketamine gives you some serious hallucinations and at first I thought it was a party scene or a porno and I was ecstatic (who doesn’t dream of 15 fireman?). However, that dream quickly dissipated and I realized he was heading right for me. They gave me more drugs and then snap! The ring was cut in two and my cock and balls were free. Jesus-fucking-Christ. Right away, the swelling subsided, but it would be quite a while longer before my poor cock and balls would be happy with me. Be careful, boys — a seemingly innocuous sex toy can cause permanent damage! And if you’re asking yourself why the FDNY came to my rescue, it’s because the cock ring was so thick, the hospital didn’t have any instruments strong enough to cut it off!

The hospital called my family during this ordeal and this, which was only one of the many emergency room visits my meth use had caused, was finally the straw that broke the camel’s back. My family subsequently staged an intervention and laid down an ultimatum. I write this before I head to rehab in a few weeks and it’s about damn time. I look and feel like shit and I obviously have many internalized issues I need to deal with. I feel relieved to attempt to put the pieces of my life back together. So, wish me luck — I’m gonna need it.

Oh, and if you’re wondering — my Thursday twink is fine and calls me all the time.

My Discussion

Though my client pokes fun at himself and makes the situation light-hearted, deep down one can see that he is at a pivotal point in his life. After sharing his shenanigans, we did get serious on his current addictions and all the sequelae that is associated with them. The staged family intervention seems to have been a key shift in his outlook towards seeking help. I do think with this new tactic, his overall approach has changed and we spoke in great detail on his fears, desires, and future.

That being said, since mental health is unique to each individual, I’d like to focus this week’s discussion on cock rings. I’ll share some history on cock rings, teach you how to properly use one, and let you know what happens if things go awry.

The cock ring is an amazing device when used appropriately. And although this generic term exists, it can be used interchangeably for either cock alone or both cock + balls, in terms of where you are placing it. But when did it all start? The first written confirmation appears in the records from China circa 1200. “Rings were made from the eyelids of goats with eyelashes intact. The flexible eyelids were tied around men’s erections and the hardened lashes were said to increase the pleasure of intercourse.” I have a fond appreciation of Asian culture, but I am not sure I am going to place a goat eyelid around my shaft anytime soon (but I’m sure a cutie can convince me).

The true extent of its pleasure lies with the pressure and engorgement it elicits. In theory, the more blood in the region, the thicker everything becomes and we all know what it feels like to be rock hard. This just takes it to another level. It not only assists in the pleasure category, but also can extent one’s cock-life (I just made that up — think of it similar to ‘half-life’ as it pertains to pharmaceuticals). It does wonders assisting erectile dysfunction or, at least, longevity. In my client’s case, it was used for all the above.

That said, all manufacturers have a disclaimer: use one for 30 minutes or less. Why is this? It’s the window of time where the positive effects can quickly turn negative. It’s basically a pressure game and when one cuts off the outflow (venous blood leaving the cock that generates that engorgement), over time, the inflow can become a problem as well. The inflow in this case is the arterial blood supply. So if it’s on for too long or the size is too small for your cock, the swelling can lead to serious consequences. The entire point here is enhancement, not deformation.

“The first sign of pending problems is when the penis starts to become numb, painful, or cold. As soon as this happens, the cock ring must be removed.”

People have lost their precious penis and testicles (I will speak medically for a second here), all because of bad judgement. Educate yourself on the proper uses of all toys. Understand appropriate sizing as it relates to your individualized parts and, most importantly, understand the possible consequences you can encounter when they are not used appropriately. Toys are fucking awesome and we are huge proponents of their use, but correct usage is paramount to successful engagements.

In my client’s situation, significant swelling and pressure of the cock ring has caused permanent scarring circumferentially around both the cock and balls. If you recall: 24 hours of usage across several sexual encounters (and don’t forget the meth) was a recipe for disaster. Thank god for the NYFD.

We take for granted the pleasures we seek and situations like this should re-align our spectrum of engagement. You should have the freedom to use any sex toy you desire, but remember to use it based on the manufacturer’s guidelines and know when you (or your partners) are pushing the envelope too far. Engage, but safely.

If you have further questions or need some advice, don’t hesitate to DM us or reach out for a formal appointment in either the Bespoke Surgical NYC or LA office.

Stay in touch on Instagram: me and Bespoke Surgical.